I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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