his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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