Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
