Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
