It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
