3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
