Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
