we have officially lost it.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
