Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
