And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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