I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
