She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
