I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
