It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
