I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
