she was so not down for the gang bang
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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