Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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