i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
we're so committed to being not committed
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize