I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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