my sisters under your porch take her home
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
