oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
