That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
