Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
