You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
