She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
be right there i have to get my cape
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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