yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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