Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
