I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
