it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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