dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm passing your future prison.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
