problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
