would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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