then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
