you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
