How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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