so explain again why im purple
no
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
