so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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