NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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