so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
