How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
