'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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