The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
