i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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