I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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