so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
