out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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