Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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