This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
