sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
