who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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