he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
